A few years ago popular recording artist John Mayer came out with a song that has resonated with our culture. It is a song about the vital relationship between fathers and daughters. The research is overwhelming that a positive, healthy relationship between fathers and daughters is vital for a daughter’s success in future relationships and all of life.
With so much emphasis upon father-son relationships, Mayer hits on with his lyrics why paying particular attention to the father-daughter relationship is so vital. These girls will grow up to marry men and these men will need women who have grown up secure in a father’s love. So just as raising sons secure in dad’s loving acceptance blesses their women, raising daughters honored by dad in their femininity will bless their men.
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
When it comes to my relationship with my daughters the underlying feeling I have is “pride.” I am not saying that because of any great impact I may have had upon them but rather I am proud of THEM, how they have grown up despite me, their dad, often saying the wrong things or doing the wrong things. They have both become beautiful and godly young women. Holly is almost 18 and Heidi is 32. I am grateful for my wife, Cindy, who has encouraged my involvement with them from the very beginning.
On January 30th we are having our third annual Seattle Father-Daughter Summit. I am excited to have Heidi and Holly up front helping me with the emcee job. It should be fun to see fathers and daughters spending the day connecting and re-connecting in their relationships. (If you are reading this and you have a daughter in the 11-25 year old range it is not too late to register! See below.)
So, as I look at my children and my “hands on” season quickly coming to a close, I need to remember that as I still influence my sons (more through modeling of my marriage and prayer for them now) that what is at stake is not just their own lives but the women they will someday, God-willing, marry and the daughters they may be raising.
What is at stake in my ongoing relationship with my daughters is not just the quality of their own lives but the blessing they can bring to their current husband (Sky for Heidi) and future possible husband for Holly. Out of those marriages will come forth children secure in who they are and ready to know the Savior, because they have tasted and seen His love already in their parents.
As I write this, I am sitting my two-year-old granddaughter, Sadie. Who knows what lives she will touch as she grows into a woman of God like her mom. She is not a fearful, tentative girl. I see her zest for life. It is clear that her dad, Sky, is being good to his daughter.
So, here is my encouragement to you, Sky (with some help from John Mayer) to keep on loving and leading your daughters and my granddaughters.
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do.
Celebrating The Wonder Of Daughters And Granddaughters Today,
Jamie
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