Sunday, October 02, 2005

CATCH THEM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT!

As a dad, there is a great temptation to want to correct, correct and correct our kids some more. That is PART of our job but it is so easy to make that into the MAIN PART of our job. It is interesting that in the two verses in the New Testament where the Apostle Paul specifically addresses fathers he warns us of this very thing:

"Fathers, do not exasperate (literally take the wind out of the sails of) your children.."
"Fathers, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged.." (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21)

As I have had some extended time with my 15-year-old son this summer at a baseball tournament in the Midwest, I have been thinking about what the legendary basketball coach, John Wooden, used to try to do with his players..that is he would try to "catch them doing something right." He knew his players desperately wanted to please their coach, and though he did discipline and correct he worked hard on reinforcing positive play.

What a principle for us as dads to follow! Our kids really want to please us and make us proud. They just need to know how to do it and when the do it. During the tournament I have sought to compliment him for the things that will truly last-not so much his performance on the field but when I see him show unselfishness. For example at one point he was yanked out of the batting line up at the last minute for another player. Though initially he struggled, he recovered well and cheered on the batter who took his place. I made sure he knew I was very proud of him for the way he handled himself in that situation.

Were there times on the trip I had to be tough and rein him in? Of course, but by God's strength I sought to make encouragement the dominant tone of the trip.

How has it been going with you with your kids? Have you been able to catch your child doing something right? (or if you have a teen, have you been able to catch him/her doing something almost right?)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Recently my oldest daughter (23) has been a great encouragement to me. I recently lost a long standing contract for a company that I had done a service for, for over 26 years. During my daughters growing up years, when ever tough times or a job they didn't want to do faced them I would tell them they would and needed to do it because they were "Love" girls. Recently while talking with my daughter I told her I was 1 of the last Love's, only her son my grandson will more than likely be carrying on the Love name. Well she read my response in haste and was very quick to point out that her son had been given the name of Love and would always carry that name, even though she is now married. So in a round about way - she was caught taking pride in the family name for my sake and that of her son. Duane

James said...

My 15 year old daughter Rebekah has chosen use ancillary services of local Curtis High school and volunteer to join high school swim team as she has completed summer competing YMCA swim team and my wife is their swim coach .My sons have been doing yard work to earn extra cash 19 and and 16 year old . My 22 year old married daughter Jamie L-rd willing make my wife and I grandparent for first time Jan. 2006 My 17 year daughter Rene has started a program at Local Community college where she will finish her High school and enter into junior collge . I still have 10 children at home !