Monday, October 16, 2006

“Giving A Blessing To My Wife”

Most of us men are well intentioned in desiring to communicate to our wives our love for them. We really DO love them and we try to tell them we love them, but "life happens," the years pass, and we can find that we have unintentionally left our wives doubting the depth of our love and commitment to them. Something I came across recently that I have found helpful to me is a ministry out of Texas called "Letters From Dad." This work was started by a man named Greg Vaughn.

As he was going through his late father's things after his passing, Greg became angry that he didn't possess any message from his dad, any blessing that was written down. As he considered this anger regarding what he was missing from his dad, he realized that he had not provided a written blessing to his own children. Thus began "Letters From Dad."

As a result, I am currently participating in this four part, once a month course that meets for 90 minutes on Saturday mornings at my church to learn how to write letters of blessing to family members. The first month we are writing a letter of blessing (not of apology) to our wives. As Cindy and I were able to go on a planned getaway last week, I used the occasion to present my letter to her. As I did that I found that the process had a profound impact upon ME and how I saw HER, and I am pretty sure that I am not the only husband in my group to have experienced that.

Many of us have been trained in our work to be "troubleshooters," to look for problems and proceed to attempt to fix them. How easy it is for us to carry that perspective over toward our wives and into our marriages. The Bible says, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." I have found that since I wrote and shared that letter, that the qualities I affirmed in Cindy are what I think about most when I see her AND no doubt are the qualities that she will delight in living out more and more!

So Dad, what about you? Does this strike a chord with you? If so, check out the Letters From Dad website ( and look into starting a group like this in your church, community group or neighborhood. AND if you are in the Pacific Northwest you may contact Mr. John Biagianti at to find out more information!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This really is powerful! I wrote a letter of blessing to my wife and I couldn't believe how it impacted her--and me. An idea whose time has come!