Monday, October 31, 2005

MARRIAGE MOTIVATION FOR A LIFETIME

My wife and I were deeply moved by the film, "The Notebook" that is now out on DVD. The thing about the movie that really touched me was that Noah, the husband played by James Garner, sacrificially loved his wife through the disease of dementia, to the very end. There was clearly very little in the relationship left "for him" except the pain of being a stranger to the one woman he had loved his entire adult life.

The problem with most marriage books on the market is that the primary appeal is self-fulfillment. They make the assumption that a lifetime marriage is the primary path to real self-fulfillment. So the emphasis in these books is on things like conflict resolution, good communication ideas, sexual techniques and understanding basi! c male-female differences. While these are all very important, they do not touch a man's deepest motivation. The cannot make a man into a "Noah."

Marriage is the heavenly Father's gift to allow a man to come into an increasingly deeper understanding of His Son's love for him. The challenge of learning to sacrificially love one woman for a lifetime until death separates, will cause what a man intellectually knows about God's sacrificial love for him to be absorbed into the depths of his very mind and heart. Also, as a man grows in his insight into Christ's love for him and his wife it enables him to love his wife freely from the heart. The two work together.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I find that I am motivated when I realize that out of all the men in the world my wife could have chosen to spend her life with, she chose me. That motivates me to make her glad she made that choice!

Anonymous said...

I'm motivated to be like Christ and since he died for his bride, the church, I need to, want to, do the same. It's hard but death, I suppose never "feels" good.

Anonymous said...

I am motivated to love my wife when I realize how many other men are looking at my marriage and taking encouragement thinking if we can make it, so can they.

Anonymous said...

After I realize how much we have been through in the years of marriage, why in the world would I want to start all over again? If this is not motivation enough, then I consider that this is what I have been called to do by God.

dcv said...

Being held accountable by other men who are striving for a closer relationship with their wives helps. I have spent time praying and talking with a few guys that help me stay focused on the task at hand. Most important, however, I have found that regular time in the Word and in prayer has made the largest impact for me.

theBaumgartners said...

a healthy marriage nurtures the soul and draws us closer to God through accountability and intimacy

also a healthy marriage is a great gift to give our children - when they see that we love each other it makes them feel loved and gives them a deep sense of belonging

Anonymous said...

I am motivated by the realization that my wife does so much more for me than I do for her and she never complains or "makes it known". I want to give back to her like she has given to me. We have a good marriage, but it takes both people each giving 100+%. I'm more motivated today than ever before to "out give her" and make our marriage the very best it can be.